radiation and a snow day

Another week on the books and again it feels wonderful to be free of the pump until Monday morning.  There were some low points this week particularly when my pump starting beeping at 5 am this morning because there was an air bubble in the tubing since the pump was nearly empty. This was solved quickly by talking to a nurse (in Florida!?) who works for the pump company.  But in retrospect the week went by quickly and I hope they continue at this pace.

Yesterday was a SN❄W day for Flo and Bea and an equally beautiful day for those of us not fortunate enough to have the day off from school.  Not only were Flo and Bea excited about a snow day--to spend the afternoon with friends sledding and drinking cocoa, but they also got to come with me in the morning to my daily radiation appointment. 

Juliana in position on the radiation machine

The girls watched the nurses line me up on the board so that the green lasers matched up with my tattoos. Then they were ushered out and the nurses closed a serious door behind them; it is about 3 feet thick with 4 built-in lead panels. The kind nurses let Flo and Bea into the control room where they watched my radiation scans and treatment as it happened live on 7 different screens. I wish I could have seen it, but it was fun to hear them describe what my body looked like on the inside from what they saw on the screens.  Then as if that weren't enough excitement for one snowy morning, they each got a little packet of saltines in the waiting room.


One of the things I find most perturbing and fascinating about radiation, and chemo also, is that they are both so TOXIC. The actual 5FU chemo solution that I take is a biohazard, yet here I am holding this pouch at my side in a (now fun, colorful) fanny pack for 96 hours/week as this cytotoxic liquid is continuously pumped through my body.  Similarly I lie helpless on the radiation table as I am exposed to the radiation beams from which everyone else takes great measures to protect themselves.  The chemo is so toxic I have been advised to flush the toilet twice just to make sure no one else who uses the toilet after me will risk getting even a drop of my toxic bodily fluids inadvertently splashed onto their bottom!

my very own pump

It is this toxicity of course that produces the unpleasant side effects associated with chemo.  For the drug to be strong enough to kill cancer cells it also kills innocent healthy cells in its path.  I have been fortunate that I haven't had much in the way of side effects yet aside from fatigue, but I know they are are cumulative and may worsen over the remaining 18 days of my treatment.

I also know the second chemo regime that I will start after my surgery this summer is longer, harsher and not usually as well tolerated, but for now I am happy to be where I am.

We are looking forward to having my Mom come visit again this weekend to be with Flo and Bea so Robbie and I can spend the weekend together in Portsmouth.  Have a great weekend!